The Problem With Happiness

In early 2020, we plan to release our book, Threads of Resilience: How to Thrive in a Turbulent World. It will come not a moment too soon. This week alone, there has been another mass shooting in Texas, a threatening hurricane in Florida, and escalating tensions in our beloved Hong Kong. We feel a rising need for the many hopeful messages in our book.

The following is one such message–a short excerpt from the book:

. . Jeremy and his dad spent the evening discussing what they soon realized was a foundational concept in dealing with any challenge in life. They discussed an important characteristic of happiness: it comes and goes. In fact, it comes and goes pretty easily. Joy, on the other hand, goes deeper. Joy is slower moving. Joy is always from within, while happiness can so easily depend on things outside of us. People often say, “I’m happy about” something. They don’t say they are “joyful about” something. People might say, “I’m happy about the weather” or “I’m happy about the promotion I got at work.” But they never say they’re joyful about those things.

There is a very subtle, implied insertion of the word, “about,” nearly every time someone expresses their happiness, thus happiness is more fleeting and dependent on external factors. If the situation after the word “about” is negative, then typically the happiness is not even expressed. But joy is different. Where happiness is about the small moments in time, joy is more focused on the big picture. It’s very possible to live a joyful life even when there are unhappy incidences.

Chuck said to his son, “The longer I live, the more I’m able to look back and see the bigger picture unfold. Looking back on a span of several years will give you a different perspective.” Jeremy realized that looking back on his own life, there were certainly unhappy incidences, but through it all, even he could recognize threads of resilience which brought joy. Happiness comes and goes but the lack of it never has to interrupt one’s joy.

In the middle of deep, emotional, even devastating times, continuous threads of resilience not only allow us to survive the difficult times, but to thrive in true abundance. These threads of resilience can literally pull us through momentary trials or even years of unhappy circumstances.

Is Christmas Gift Giving a Mistake?

Christmas Gifts

The spirit of giving is a beautiful part of Christmas. But when families have so many things gathering dust in their closets, the “wonder and awe” that is such a big part of the Christmas spirit can suffer. In their yet-to-be-published book, “Surviving by a Thread: Finding Joy, Abundance and Resilience in a Turbulent World,” the Chamberlains identify a survival “thread” called “Give Up and Let Go.”

Learning to give up and let go is critical to the flow of abundance in our lives. This is no more evident than at Christmastime. In the book, Jeremy recalls an unusual discussion with a young mother:

“I remember coming across someone else who seemed pretty conscious of this ‘letting go’ thing. It was the mother of a family I met once. They were getting ready for Christmas. There were several small children and their Christmas tree was surrounded by many wrapped gifts. But at the same time, they still had a good number of toys and games left over from the last Christmas in their children’s rooms. When I talked to the mother, she said something I’ve never forgotten.”

“What did she say?” Laraine asked.

“She said, ‘We love this time of year because it’s a perfect time to sort through the toys and games from years past and get rid of those that are unusable or seldom used. Our children have learned to give away or throw away their old toys at least one time every year.’ . . .

If we could help our children shift their mindsets away from accumulation towards the direction of abundance, which includes the concept of “flow,” we would be teaching them a valuable lesson. They would appreciate their toys a little more, learn to experience the joy of giving, and avoid the bad energy that comes with too much clutter.  

There is certainly nothing wrong with gift-giving at Christmas. But by taking a few subtle steps in the direction of abundant thinking, we can make the giving more positive and meaningful.